Roman Edirisinghe

I went to a bar called the Safehouse tonight, to celebrate my friend Mindy’s birthday. What a crazy place! It used to be a safe location for people to drink during alcohol prohibition. It was quite elaborately planned, and featured false doors and other methods of deceiving people into simply leaving the place alone.

There was a magician there, named Mark Bond, who totally blew my mind. I simply had no idea that such sleight of hand existed. Truly impressed, I left the place totally dumbfounded.

It is a commonly held misconception that, because I feel comfortable performing on stage, I have no issues with interpersonal communication. Most people find it hard to believe that I have a hard time talking about my feelings. Or that I feel completely alone when I’m in a large crowd of people. I seem to have mastered the art of the façade, of disguising my feelings with a mask. It’s true. Over the years I’ve managed to hide my feelings quite effectively, and maintain a semblance of composure under duress. There is, however, a price to pay. When I hide my feelings, I effectively deny myself and my expression. This tension can blow up in one’s face. Just recently I blew up at a former bandmate. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, mere inches from his face.
Last night I confided myself to a woman I’ve developed feelings for. It was really, really awkward. I felt like I was in high school. My body flushed, and it was really hard to get words out. But once I did, I felt much better. And after I told her, I suddenly felt like it didn’t matter what her response would be; what mattered was that I didn’t have the emotional/mental/spiritual burden of carrying the secret around with me any longer.
My devoted readers, realize that this extrovert can be quite shy at times, and has insecurities and feelings of insufficiency just like anyone else.

An Australian study has shown that girls as young as six years are unhappy with their bodies and want to be thinner. I know Barbie has something to do with this, that damned plastic bitch!
via BBC NEWS

“Yeah, go look at my blorg.” – Kristin Urban

An innovative musician has created a synth that uses the common earthworm to generate sounds. This is pretty cool, but PETA may be on this guys ass for murdering worms.
via Music thing
Dindin Datin Dudero Home page

Under this proposed law, your tabby could be shot (yes, shot) by anyone with a small game license. This guy is a freak, and clearly has a resentment against cats.
via Wisconsin State Journal
via TheWGALChannel.com
Discussion board
DontShootTheCat.com

“Insanity is great and people love it.” – Tiffany Morgan

Last week I wrote about unreturned phone calls. I also wrote about how I’ve been guilty of the same crime.

Tip: no matter how busy you are, it takes but less than one bloody minute to pick up the phone, dial a number, and leave the following message: “Hey Roman, I got your call. I just wanted to let you know that I do want to talk, but I’m really busy.”

Or something like that.

Less than one minute.

Why am I so emotional right now? I’ve allowed certain external stimuli to affect me to the point where I feel hurt inside. Consequently, I’ve been crying, which is not at all a bad thing. This kind of reminds me of when I was in high school, when I had a crush on someone, but didn’t have the words or courage to do something about it. Instead, I’d keep it to myself, and they would never realize that I was head over heels about them. This happened countless times, and in the end my loneliness grew.
Many years later, I’ve found my voice and the courage to use it. However, it doesn’t help at all, because if the object of my affections remains unresponsive to me, I fall apart inside. I feel like I’m overreacting. So I wonder if I’m experiencing some type of post-traumatic stress, and reliving my emotions from high school. After 31 spins around the sun, it seems ridiculous to me that I fall apart when things don’t go my way. I figured I was more evolved.

I need help. Growth is good, but painful.

My conclusion: dating sucks.

I saw my dear friend Heidi last night, for the first time in quite a long time. We concluded that we’ve known each other 10 years! And although we’ve had our spats and squabbles along the way, we remain good friends. We ended up sitting at my kitchen table drinking rooibos tea, poring over my laptop. She prompted me to search for a site containing odd laws in the US. We were cracking up. I’ll post some of those entries later. We also found some great Aboriginal art, and checked out Wikipedia entries on Aboriginal mythology.

Earlier that night, John, Heidi and I went to the Fuel Cafe. While there, we discussed starting a collaborative blogging effort, in which we would tear apart the fabric of our reality with the strength of our opinions. Well, maybe we didn’t use those words, but one gets the idea.